Love all the way.

Hello Tuesday!

It was a jam packed Monday of goodness. Massage, a so so soul soothing, face hurts from smiling lunch with Jenn, promising Clifftech meetings, more massage, a lacylike order in progress and school. Jam packed!

I've been listening to a school lesson by John Douillard (the guy is freggin amazing) and something he said hasn't left me.

On the vulnerability of true love (and I am paraphrasing here)...

He started by asking how many people love their husband/wife fully. And then asked who holds back just a little? Saying who wouldn't right? If I love fully then they could not love me back... and if you hold back a little you can use that to protect yourself in some small way.

He challenged the group to write a letter to the person you love (could be a family member, friend, partner, etc). Write a letter that they will never get about the things that you love about them or have trouble loving about them or feel obligated to love about them... etc. In doing so explore how you feel writing the letter and what you'll find (among other things) is that what we really want is not to be loved but to give ourselves permission to love fully.

There is so much freedom in loving fully! So much power! So much love and lightness!

He went on to say that every time you feel constricted by that person (the annoying little things they do--i.e. leaving the milk out etc.) instead of dwelling on that just LOVE THEM! HUG them, expand through the constriction! Give yourself the permission to experience to the expansion and move through fear to come into the vulnerability of true love which will NEVER CHANGE.

Pretty powerful stuff and what keeps turning over in my head is that truth is forever. It's truth. And real love is truth, it lasts forever. And to have real love in our lives we have to take that leap and give ourselves fully in order to experience the joy of love. BUT we hold back... why? Duh because we've been hurt and we feel like it's our armor from being hurt again. We are all carrying around a story about past hurts and they keep us from the real joy of truthful love. So why not just jump and love? OK I know I pretty much said the same thing twice--- once his way, once mine but this is what I've been turning up and down and side to side in my mind. Love is love is love and if we give ourselves permission to love fully a whole wide world opens up and that's so cool.

Here's to loving fully! Living in your truth and happiness!
Go smooch someone you love now :)
Xoxo,
Lacy

p.s. I just read this post to Cliff and he said "that's great baby, I love YOU fully." I have a great life, great love ....sigh.... <3 p.p.s. Thanks for reading friends!

Shiny Penny


Dear Shiny New Penny,

I received three of you today and made an audible squeal when the cashier placed you in my hand. He didn't appreciate your beauty like I did. With total delight I tucked you safely into my wallet. I had the opportunity to use you a few minutes later and decided to give them a nickel instead. I'm sorry that you don't get the greatest wrap but today I really appreciate you. You reminded me that the beauty of life is in the details even the ones that don't seem like they are worth much.

With love,
Lacy

On Happiness.

Cliff, Kayla, Aunt Mary and I have been having this on-going conversation on Happiness. Why is it that Americans seem to think that life means self imposed suffering? Like why stay in a job you hate that totally depletes you b/c you have a mortgage, commitments, bills, etc? We all have commitments, it's part of life but what if we started living our lives based on what made us happy and healthy instead of what we should do?

Betcha we'd all crack right open and live HAPPY!

I get it... it's hard to take the leap, to be brave and live your best life! That's why so many people don't do it. And all too often it takes stress that leads to sickness, severe sickness like some awful cancer to wake us up to the possibility of making the choice that is best for our life and health. Why wait for sickness choose health? Be brave. Live the life you want. Do it! As a result I betcha you'll receive unparalleled support from your tribe and when it comes down to losing the roof over your head because you choose the road less traveled you will always have a soft spot to land among friends and family. Homes, cars, possessions can be bought and sold, won and lost--- but happiness, true happiness, self confidence and personal success, you just can't buy those.

Maybe this is one of those things you read and dismiss thinking-- Ok Lacy's gone crazy or ate berries off that tree you're never supposed to eat off of... but it's where I'm at and I felt like it was worthy of sharing.

xo
Lacy

Pretty Naked.

When Domino Mag went away (still sad over that one) they replaced my subscription with Glamour. It didn't seem like the obvious choice for a replacement but whatever I will flip through anything to look at the pictures. LOL When my mag arrived this month I was delighted to see nakee photos! I love thoughtfully done sexy nude photography!

So I hold up the mag and say to Cliff "what do you think of this photo?" (sssshhhh don't tell but I was testing him). He didn't miss a beat and replied "that looks like a pile I want to be in!" Yay he passed! LOL but why wouldn't he think that they are lovely since he is married to me, a curvy girl in her own right!? We went on to further discuss beauty in America and had a really amazing conversation about it. ...And why do these ladies have to be called "plus sized models?" Why can't they be called real women? I guess battles are won one step at a time.

So my questions to you today:
What do you think of this photo?
What do you see when you look at them?
I see 7 confidant women with great boobs, great skin. Healthy women without flat stomachs who are strikingly beautiful. I think the photo is an amazing step towards teaching our daughters, sisters, mothers, friends, ourselves that we are beautiful no matter what size we wear. That not everyone looks like a VS model or Playboy centerfold for that matter. We are women. We are diverse, amazing creatures and we deserve to be comfortable in our own skin because we understand what true beauty is.

And for funZees. I went to delete my spam mail yesterday (6 offers to lengthen my penis and 4 for pain killers--- guess you'd need the pain killers after the penis fiasco) and had to laugh at the featured recipe of Spicy Spam Kabobs. Thank you, Google! That was great!


I hope that you feel beautiful today!
Lacy

A change in perspective

Our family is definitely in the baby phase...

My brother and his wife are pregnant with twin girls!
My aunt and her hubby are trying to get pregnant.
and then yesterday I was reading from my list of fave blogs and saw
this and thought... oh how much fun is that going to be when our family gets together with all our little ones. Crazy, surreal, but fun!

Cliff and I recently went to visit a midwife. It was great and sooo the right place for me to be. Let me interrupt myself to say that 1. I am not pregnant and 2. we are not yet trying but I am a planner so that's why the appt. Yeah she thought it was a little funny too but I'd much rather she get to know me now than when I am all hormonal and tired. I actually can't imagine waiting until I am pregnant to pick my team of people that will help me through the journey. My friend Jessica went to the hospital, picked her classes out and did all kinds of this stuff before they were ever trying and while I thought it a bit odd at the time I was really proud of her and I totally get it now.

Anyway I was filling out all this paperwork and it said SS# of father. I am not kidding you I didn't miss a beat. I literally picked up my phone to call my dad and ask his social when I realized DUH they mean Cliff. Omg who's your daddy, right! The change in perspective was enough to make me do that nervous laugh/ head shaking combo... OMG he is going to be a father and that means I will be a mother. Seriously! A mother! And A Father! OH wow.

and how's about a little inspiration for your day...

This is magic.
Can you imagine how this would feel in person!

Much love,
Lacy

Procreate?

From our Saturday drive!
Elephant Seals...umm yeah you know.


An on going email with one of my dear friends today has got me thinking...

***Let me begin with a disclaimer... MOM-- and all my other strong beautiful women who have children and opinions the following does in no way mean that you need to crawl into an ice cream eating depression cause you will never have grand kids. You will have them sooner than later (no I am not pregnant, and yes I am still taking the magic no baby pill)... just remember that I am allowed to question. And I love you oh so much!***

Ok let us begin...

Each time one of my friends gets knocked up I flood her with a million and one questions and wives tales that I've heard and desperately want to know true or false?! The truly tragic thing is that it is rare that I get an honest answer. Why is it that we gloss over the terrifying things that are happening to our bodies?

Why is it that we as women are generally givers? There are phases in life when we are a bit more selfish (in the good way) but generally speaking we, as women spend our lives in service to others be it our career, our relationship, our kids, our commitments, etc.

Sure in the end you get to go home with this perfect new little creature that sleeps all the time so you forget about the rage that pregnant hormones induced or that you had hemorrhoids from hell or need I go on? But ladies... if a girl friend asks be brave enough to give her the straight answer. We are not making conversation... we really want to know. Today I finally, finally had a girl friend give it to me straight and much to my surprise... I am --GASP-- normal.

Why do people really have kids? And do they just have them because it is what we are supposed to do? If you are a person who doesn't just love children, who never wanted to babysit when you were a kid and can't stand the grocery store kids (you know the ones I mean) then is it ok to want to have a baby as a part of your journey with your love? Are there people out there in the world who have kids to share the experience with their mate and not because they are just dying to have a child? I know the answer is yes... people have kids for all kinds of reasons and there are some people in the world like my mom who just know with all their being that they are meant to be a mom. I've seen friends do it cause it's have kids or get divorced. I've seen friends do it b/c they had nothing else going on really. I've seen friends do it b/c one of them hit that magic age of no return.... I could go on and on.

I suppose the really great part about having kids is that you can make your own rules and raise them to be whatever you want them to be. Hopefully you do it with love and respect and a generous sprinkling of values and in the end hopefully the act of making a baby and having a baby brings you closer to your mate.

My mom had Cody and Kallie when I was in middle school. Can you say BIRTH CONTROL! Even having Kallie visit recently made me realize yet again that this parenting thing is a lot of work and a lot of RESPONSIBILITY. It actually scares me to death. I like being with Cliff. I like spending time together and having all of my attention for him. I like sleeping well and having energy and structuring my day however I want to...but you know all this questioning comes out of being closer than ever to having that conversation for real. We knew when we committed to each other that we wanted to have kids one day. We also knew that we wanted time to enjoy each other.

Yes, I know it will be different when they are mine. That is what everyone says. But for now I am enjoying our freedom and being responsible for myself and one very ornery Ned kitty.