Why I don't focus on weight loss alone.

Earlier this week a women asked me why my weight loss story wasn't more of a central part of the information on my website. It was the best question I've been asked in a long time. It's true, I lost 50 pounds by changing my relationship with food and doing the work that I now teach. I don't focus on the 50 pounds for several reasons. The first, weight is relative across the board. I talk to women + men every week who want to change the number on the scale. When I was 198 pounds at my biggest I was still someone else's goal weight. Some 148 pound women want desperately to be 115 pounds. See what I mean?

Second, this process has been about so much more than physical weight loss to me. It's been about finding myself. Finding peace and releasing the need to struggle. Oh how I struggled. I would work out like mad for three months at a time doing Body For Life contests and then I'd stop working out and go right back to eating the way I was before. I just recently threw away all of my before and after photos (though in this moment I wish I would have saved some of them to show you). The girl in those before photos felt desperate, gross, pushed to the edge of sadness and hopelessness. I didn't feel beautiful. I felt like I could be if I did X,Y,Z. I'm here to tell you beauty is not conditional. You are beautiful because you are. I can't tell you how many times I'd take a before photo and then sit on the couch and eat ice cream because TOMORROW was day 1. It was madness.

As I was packing and going through things in prep to move into our RV I found old journals. One from my senior year in high school. I wanted to lose 15 pounds. D e s p e r a t e l y. When I read the journal page I clutched my chest, took a deep breath and said 'OH SWEET GIRL - you didn't have 15 pounds to lose.' I was tall, thin and relatively flat chested. I was all limbs and hips and still something inside wasn't happy and so I created a number and decided I'd chase it. I chased those 15 pounds for most of my 20's. I was hyper focused on weight and it was depleting my spirit.

I tried:

• Infomercial work out videos. OMG my little sister, Kayla, can probably still quote the entire Denise Austin tape, Do It With Denise! And don't forget Tony Little, the guy with the pony tail and the tight bike shorts that yelled YOU CAN DOOOOOOO IT! And then of course Tai Bo. And. And. And.
• Body For Life. Over and over and over again. Those were the days of a cheat day. I would eat as much as I wanted all day long and then the rest of the week was 4-6 meals a day, chicken breast and chalky tasting protein shakes.
• Famine weeks and feast weekends. You know because I'd been good all week and I deserve a break, right?
• I'd starve myself all day and then eat at night. That, my friends, is the worst idea ever. It's the Sumo Wrestler diet.

Those are the most memorable of many methods of self torture. It felt never-ending like I'd always struggle and strive to be something that I wasn't. I thought the weight was the problem but it was merely a side effect of the imbalance in my body and my life.

And finally, the biggest reason I don't focus on weight is because once I shifted focus away from the weight and perceived imperfections and towards nourishment and getting on the same team as my body.... well, e v e r y t h i n g changed. I realized that I'd spent my entire life to that point zoomed in on the things that I wanted to change. We draw to us what we're thinking about. It's creation 101 and it blew my mind! I learned the power of what follows 'I AM' you create in your life. All this time I'd been saying I AM TOO FAT and all I kept getting was the feeling of being too fat. Once I started saying I AM thin, healthy and strong I began to create this space inside. I call it my Can Do (maybe all that yelling Tony Little did planted a Can Do seed). Instead of feeling like a failure all the time I started to feel empowered to make small changes in the direction of thin, healthy and strong.

Do you see the difference? Do you feel the lightness that comes from thin, healthy and strong as opposed to the heavy feeling of too fat?

My small changes were teensy tiny in the beginning. I switched from white rice to brown. I started eating green things. I committed to preparing one meal at home per day. I bought veggies. Notice I said I bought veggies not that I ate them. That was a step for me. I bought them and then they'd go bad in the crisper. After a while I decided that I didn't like throwing money away like that so I actually started to eat them. Every little step has been so valuable.

Along the way too I stopped thinking about losing weight and started thinking of it as releasing weight. We lose things we want to find, like our keys. We release things we're ready to let go of forever, like unwanted pounds. That goes back to the lightness again. Doesn't it feel so much better to think of releasing the weight!

I no longer weight myself or obsess about what size jeans I can fit into. I no longer feel confused by ALL the conflicting health information out there. I no longer feel guilt before, during or after eating. I no longer crave the foods that used to bring me comfort (ice cream, candy and cakes). I no longer look in the mirror and pinch or grab the bits that are a disappointment. I no longer feel frustrated about my body.

Me + this skin suit I'm in are besties. We listen to each other. We are a team (and a pretty darn good team at that). How about you? Are you ready to learn how to listen to your body? If something from this resonated with you and you'd like to take that small step to change your relationship with food, let's talk! You can schedule a free initial consult right over here. There's something pretty amazing about the combination of accountability + support + practical tools for change.

With love, Lacy

::March 2014::

March, You were all about the UMPH!

I spent a week working and playing in Austin with Kayla and Chloe. Ate lots of raspberries and guacamole with truffle oil. Got a proper hair cut + blow out. Feels so good to look totally different for a few days.

When I got home Ned had his yearly shots, he wasn't amused. He's a totally healthy fur face at nearly 14!

I lead Juice, Blend, Repeat and felt healthy, present, fit + strong. It's the best I've felt in my skin all year (so far).

We FINALLY found a natural deodorant that works for both of us after trying what felt like every brand at Whole Foods. It's called Herban Cowboy and that makes me laugh every morning. His + Hers.

Got on a cucumber kick. Cucumber salad. Cucumber in my water. Cucumber in juices. Must have needed the hydration. I have made a practice of listening to those body ques and honoring them.

After much conversation on the WHAT NEXT we started looking at RV's! Among the first was a really an old converted bus. It was a resounding NO, too old, too dirty and the ceiling was too low. BUT it solidified that we actually really want to move forward with the plan to purchase, renovate and live in an RV! We got to meet the cutest donkey on the way. Doesn't looking at him just make you happy!

I covered our fridge in Instgram prints. It's the little details that make a rental feel like home. I ordered prints from here + used magnetic tape from the craft store to make em stick. About a 1 inch square on the back of each print.

Aunt Mary and I went to see Miley Cyrus. I had a blast deciding what to wear. Leg warmers + leggins always spell party to me.

I took my favorite selfie lately. I've always been a really toothy, cheesy smile kind of girl. At 35 I'm feeling softer, less cheesy, more authentic and that's what I see + feel what I look at that photo.

Aunt Mary goes to sooo many concerts. She's always loved them and I forget how much I love them until I go to see one with her again. The energy of the music, of all the people gathered from all walks of life, the people watching! It's all pretty incredible. Neither one of us are crazy Miley fans, we probably know 3 of her songs between the two of us but we agree that the girl is a marketing genius. The concert was right in line, over-the-top, all about the party and yes she does ride a giant hotdog that flies through the air. I had a blast!

Here's your sign.

Kale Yeah tanks + tees arrived and I love them. I especially adore the tank, wear it all the time. You can get yours here.

Created a crazy good stuffed Poblano pepper recipe with quinoa and loads of veggies and a cashew cream sauce that is mmmmmm delish.

My new favorite glass compliments of my mom's bestie. She totally gets me.

We started appreciating, really appreciating the details of this home we've created. The idea to live in an RV is getting serious and things here are starting to feel really impermanent. That feeling when you know it's all about to change.

I started receiving picts of people in their NEW Kale Yeah T's! Kenzncreed (that's her Instagram name) has been an internet friend and follower since my first blog. Anytime I start something new she's always there to support me. Thank you, I'm so grateful for you @Kenzncreed!

Two of my friends from Boston, Molly + Lizzy came to see ME! It was an incredible weekend of togetherness. The kind where you feel really fed and recharged. They wanted to do Texas stuff so we ate Tex Mex and I took them to the Boot Barn. Lizzy cried. We're all pretty sure she was a cowgirl in a past life. Just the smell of leather alone sends her into happy tears. We got to cuddle a sweet new puppy outside of said Boot Barn.

Thank you for making this trip happen Lizzy + Molly! I will remember sitting together in our living room talking and talking and talking and sitting in silence together. So much love, so much healing. Excited to be together again at your wedding in August, Molly! Sooo excited!

Left Kale Yeah stickers at my favorite Raw Vegan restaurant in town.

Got three new cutting boards. I intended to get one but they clearly wanted to stay together and so... Larry, Mo and Curly came home to my house. Some days I call them Harry, Ron + Hermione.

Aunt Mary invited me to The Cowboy Solution. It was incredible. We spent a day with the horses drawing parallels in all things life + leadership. I appreciate how present horses are, how responsive and trusting. They reminded me over and over to do as much as I need to and as little as I can. That when I get what I want to STOP ASKING. To keep it simple, speak clearly with my words + actions. To celebrate often. To trust.

Stretchy Pants Saved My Life.

One of my most vivid memories from my short lived days in corporate America was the way I felt mid day with the button of my slacks digging in and my panty hose etching that seemingly permanent line through the fat rolls on my belly. I called it cubicle hell and while I totally agree that cubicle life isn't for me I made it way worse by s-t-u-f-f-i-n-g myself into a size 14 because I couldn't bare to buy yet another size bigger. I was miserable. I was a size 16 headed to an 18. I was eating my feelings and they were delicious. I hated the way I felt dressed. I hated the way I felt naked. I hated that all my skin touched. You know what I mean? My breasts touched my belly and my belly touched my legs. It was awful. I felt trapped in a fat suit yet I didn't have the energy or the tools to do anything about it. One of the few things that made me feel comfortable at that time was stretchy pants and I remember saying out loud to my bestie, my sister, to anyone that would listen... I want to have a job where I can wear stretchy pants everyday! I said it sometimes desperately, sometimes jokingly but I totally meant it. I didn't realize at that time how powerful intention was. I didn't realize how powerful I am. I just knew stretchy pants = happiness and that was enough. It would take nearly three years before I created that reality and went to work in a yoga studio. I literally wore stretchy pants every day for a year. I had a collection of them and they were marvelous!

Stretchy pants were a victory! They were the first time that I knowingly created my own reality in a positive light. Those black PrAna pants were the lead domino that helped knock down all kinds of old beliefs (like that you have to go to an office to make a living. Or that work isn't supposed to be fun. I could go on and on...). They helped me to slowly start loving my body and believe in myself again.

Sometimes all you need to do is recognize one little thing that will make you feel more comfortable. You don't have to know all the answers. You don't have to know what happens next. Say out loud what would make you feel better and connect into that energy. I used to sit in my cube and think about waking up and putting on my black stretchy pants and it would make me feel so much lighter. It was a little spark of hope that I needed at the time.

What about you? What one thing would make you feel a little better? Your intention is so powerful, YOU are so powerful and I want to see you living in your bliss! I truly believe that we can all have our best life. We can create our reality and in doing so we strengthen each other. What are your stretchy pants? Proclaim it now! Share it in the comments below, send an email to your bestie or just say it out loud right NOW!

Ready, set, create! Lacy

Ps. The photo... in the first yoga studio that I helped to create and went to work in. TRANSFORMATIONAL! I lost weight, learned so much about myself and started health coaching as a result. I wrote about it at my first blog here.  Photo credit :: Andrew de Torres

Aaaaand Juice, Blend, Repeat starts Monday! 2 days of juice, followed by 3 days of smoothies + whole foods! If you're looking for positive change you've come to the right place! Join us!

Truth is...

- Barefoot running is like an upper and I'm devoted to natural highs. - Green juice does it for me too. Big time.

- I meditate daily and still get caught up in worrying about the future. Must need more meditation or a crystal ball. Maybe both.

- A solid sense of humor gets me through an awful lot with a smidge of grace. My sisters remind me about the importance of laughter ALL THE TIME. For instance --- this week Kayla made juice and forgot to add the pitcher to catch the juice. When the juice started spraying out everywhere she went with plan B, her hands. And when plan B didn't exactly work it was plan C, hysterical laughter with her daughter.

- Even though I eat vegan most of the time, I still really like cheese. Especially a nice, hard gouda. If you read nice, hard gouda and had at least one dirty thought you might be my people.

- I want to explore contentment and collect experiences.

- I believe in letting what we do be an expression of who we are.

- I'm craving a GOOD DIY project. Something deeply satisfying that when I'm all done I can sit back and say I MADE THAT (picture little Lacy beaming with pride).

- Ned will be 14 this year. July 1. He seems to have just gotten the memo and has slowed down a bit. Spending our days together is still one of my favorite things. I don't even get annoyed when he wakes us up puking in the middle of the night on the pillow right next to my head. Welp, most of the time.

- Peppermint herbal tea is a gift.

xo, Lacy

Status Update

- Feeling like I accomplished quite a lot this week. My desk is a complete disaster. That's usually a good sign. - Remembering spending time last week in Austin with my little sister and my niece Chloe. Missing those two. A lot.

- Spending a lot of time exploring that most unpredictable space called transition. Feeling change coming and having so many conversations with Cliff about what that might look like. Our lease is up in June and what we know for sure is we are complete in this house. We're ready for the next adventure!

- Looking forward to vacation. We're going sailing. Off the coast of Panama! San Blas islands. Google it. Freaking glorious!

- Packing T's + Tanks to send to customers! Thank you all so much for the support. I'm in awe of just how many hats I wear as a solo-preneur and it all counts, it all helps, it all adds up to helping me continue to live the dream of doing work I love. You can get yours here!

- Pinning my heart out today between client calls. Are you on Pinterest? Let's be friends!

- Considering a water fast later this year for my next "food" experiment. My intention is to literally wash my cells and get inflammation in my body DOWN as low as possible to see if it helps my breathing. It feels hard core. At the same time it also feels like a memory, like it's something I've already done yet I know I haven't. Does that make any sense at all? Don't worry it's one of those things where we would go to a place to be medically supervised.

Yeap, that about covers it.

Happy Friday! xo, Lacy

::February 2014::

February was 28 FULL days! Cliff and I celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary. Marriage is cool.

Got to hang out with my little brother a lot (but somehow didn't take a picture together). Seeing those two green smoothies takes me right back to that morning and chatting with Cody. Grateful for that time.

And that one of me totally blissed out over that smoothie was post a two week cleanse. Best move ever. The cleanse and the post cleanse smoothie.

I was gifted the most beautiful and thoughtful quilt from a client who has completely changed her life, diet and her health. When my mom saw it she cried and said "she speaks our language." You really can feel the love coming from it. It's hanging in my office, I see it everyday and feel tremendous gratitude for getting to do this work that I love so much.

My gf who moved to Canada came back and we had the best lunch and catch up. The best.

Cliff and Ned share toast. Ned likes to lick the ghee off of it. It still grosses me out a bit but it makes them so happy. Felt like one of those moments that NEEDED to be documented.

We got to meet a rescue pup named Charles and we fell in love. The endless patience and kindness that is required with a rescue takes a special human and a special beast. When I hear someone say they've got a rescue it's like a giant check mark goes into their "good people" box.

Food was simple + beautiful all month long. I did a two week cleanse that was PROFOUND. I wish I could say I was still feeling the positive effects... I went back to my usual routine post cleanse and I'm seeing how it's time to change up the routine. Always evolving. Always looking toward healing my trachea. Convinced that spontaneous healing is coming.

My Aunt celebrated her birthday with a painting party. It was one of those paint studios where everyone paints the same thing. Total blast to see how each person negotiated the process. That picture in the car is a giant balloon! We rode with TWO of them in the truck. One smooshed between me + mema and one between mom + Tom. Epic. Hilarious.

Cliff went to California for a couple of weeks to take care of the family cabin + see his mom. That's when I did my cleanse and spent a ton of time with Ned. Quality Ned Time. Also started a huge photo and story gathering project. Going to finally, finally make a scrapbook of my childhood.

Took Cliff to my hometown for the first time. It was a sweet walk down memory lane. Attended a couples dinner for a friend from HS who's getting married this year. Fun dinner... laughed a lot, ate rich food, drank and lot of wine and then paid for it the next day. Completely underestimated the need to ease back into life post cleanse.

Got to spend time with my mom's best friends. They've been friends for over 20 years. Awesome people, awesome friendship. Charles is the newest addition to their pack.

Discovered a willful little mutant carrot in the garden! Happy find.

Told the story behind how the name lacylike came to be.

And that was February!

::January 2014::

January in pictures.- Proclaimed 2014 the year of Ease. - Lead my newest ecourse called Juice, Blend, Repeat.(it's starting again in March, join us!) As if I could love juice and smoothies any more! This cleanse makes me sooo happy. - Made lots of simple + tasty food all month long. - Got into a popcorn for dinner kick and liked it. A lot. - Drank copious amounts of peppermint tea. - Ned started sleeping under the covers in the mornings. We think pretty much everything he does is adorable. - Received little crochet veggies in the mail, totally made my day. - Celebrated my 35th birthday! I love birthdays and the celebration of that moment when this journey started and all that's happened since and all that's to come. Woke up to flowers, smoothie and a decorated living room complete with confetti and streamers. The best. Spent the day surrounded by some of my beautiful family! Love the ease that is being around my family. Dressed in clothes that make me happy (ahem leg warmers, stripes, teal, best bday gift pants ever, and baubles). I remember when 35 seemed SUPER old. Today I feel anything but... I'm happy in my skin, in my relationship, my career... my life. Today I sincerely feel like I have everything I need (and always have). Just so grateful to be alive, to be surrounded by love and for what's to come (whatever that may be)! - Went to the beach for a birthday overnight-er. Rode roller coasters with Cliff and laughed til my stomach hurt. - Kayla sent me the sweetest photo of Chloe sipping green juice naked in the backyard. The goodness, the innocence, the freedom of that one photo...everything about that juice loving little girl makes me happy. She currently thinks the word for cat is Ned. We Face Time... well Chloe and Ned Face Time and she gets so excited saying "Ne, ne, ne" and doing the sign for cat (which looks like drawing whiskers down your cheek).

 

What's in a name.

I was talking to a potential client earlier this week and shared where the name lacylike came from. She said she knew it had to have a good story and that has lead me to telling it here! I started dating my high school sweetheart at 15. We married when I was 21. Grew up, grew apart and divorced amicably. I wrote about it on my first blog here. I took his last name and when we divorced went back to my maiden name.

Fast forward to the moment I wanted to change my email address. What do I do now? I didn't want to be lacy-not-my-last-name anymore. But I also didn't want to be lacy-maiden-name. I longed to be me PERIOD. All I had to do was remember who exactly I was. I had no idea where to begin but I was happy to have the time to figure out it and I was liking her more everyday.

I distinctly remember having a strong opinion about most things as a child. I was decisive, had a lot to say and happily used my voice. You know when you see posts on Facebook that say--- little girls should be told they have leadership skills not that they are bossy? I thumbs up those posts. Cliff says I have moxie. I blush and say thank you, I know.

Along the way though I was shhhhhhh-ed--- A LOT, told I was too loud, that I didn't have a filter, that I was too much etc. And so I retreated inward. I learned where it was safe to be me and I where it wasn't. I tested the limits all the time. I became a master at reading people and being what I thought they wanted me to be. I was pretty good at it too. By the time I was looking for lacylike I already had scar tissue growing in my trachea and was well into the trial and error of pharmaceuticals, surgeries and eating to numb the pain. Are you seeing the correlation? A little girl made to be quiet who later quiets herself with medically unexplainable mystery scar tissue growing in her throat chakra? Never doubt what truly powerful creators we are!

I'm reminded that every past experience shapes who we will become. I had no idea when I chose an email address that lacylike would usher me back home to myself. It has given me permission to continue to grow and change, to embrace + celebrate my individuality. It has whispered, "you're going to be ok sweet girl" and shouted "JUST BE YOURSELF DAMMIT!" It has given me the courage I needed to start a business, to explore unapologetic healing, to love again and to fall sincerely + deeply in love with myself.

A big ole part of this human experience is getting conscious and becoming ourselves. I invite you to find something that allows you to proclaim that you are like no one else and proud of it! Maybe it's a word, maybe it's sitting in quiet meditation so that you may feel the truth of who you really are. Whatever it is seek it out and put it to work in your life.

There's a great Marianne Williamson quote that reads "as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same." I couldn't agree more. Celebrating that you are like no one else but you and that I am like no one else but me, lacylike.

With love, Lacy

::December 2013::

December day in the life. I wake + water. Big into water in the morning at the moment. I drink up to 22 oz before getting out of bed. Or I get up and pee and get back in bed to drink my water. Probably TMI - but I use the water for 1. helping to get my system going in the morning and 2. to aid in getting rid of the last bit of weight I was working to lose. His and hers house shoes on the daily b/c it's COLD. Morning smoothie to get greens and super foods into my body first thing. And then work in my home office with Ned.

• Went to Boston for my annual December trip to visit friend and this time got to meet Leigh's perfect little people, Graham and Ruby. They're wonderfully different in every way except that they are twins. Leigh wrote a super sweet blog post about them over here.
• It SNOWED and I geeked out (no snow where I live)! It was so beautiful!
• Enroute home a 3 year old girl was throwing an all out screaming at the top of her lungs tantrum. I slipped her mama a free drink coupon and a sweet note to hang in there. It was an awesome moment. More about it here.

• Chloe ate her first vegan pancakes and totally loved it! They've become a staple when we are in the mood for a breakfast treat. Highly recommend! Cliff makes the pancakes, I make the mimosas.
• I got a surprise Christmas gift from Buck + Libby that was completely RAD!
• CODY CAME HOME from his 6 month journey to South and Central America!
• We made the rounds for Christmas and were done by the 23rd. A big perk of living nearby our family there was almost no travel and complete ease. We spent Christmas day just the two of us. My fave gifts from Cliff were a super sharp knife + a guitar! Fave, fave, fave gift was my soul make necklace from my mom. Best Christmas I can remember in years.
• Got to meet Fully Raw Kristina at a raw foods class she taught. Gave her some of my Kale Yeah stickers and she said "OMG I have this sticker!" Pretty cool moment. Love the work she's doing getting more fruits and veggies into peoples lives! Wellness warriors unite!
• Set my calendar for the first 6 months of 2014. Three eCourses in the line up this year and heading towards three group classes. This is going to be a big growth year. Excited + ready!

So proud that I completed a years worth of photo journaling here! Here's what I remember most about the year.

January Portland. Atlanta. My 34th birthday - stayed at the Icon Hotel in Houston (love that place). Amazing birthday weekend. February Our 5 year wedding anniversary. Manzanita, OR for a girls weekend that would change everything. Dinner with Tim + Mich at Uch which can only be described as a religious experience. March Best weather of the year. Road trip to show Cliff Bluebonnets. Color Run! April HELICOPER ride! May Boston + Austin. Retreat with Mary + Kayla that was amazing. June Went to Dallas to see friends. Lots of swimming laps with Cliff. Best laughter of the year with Cliff while he was reading his story about The Hinge. Cody left for his adventure and perhaps the biggest... we put in backyard pathways for Mema. Cut the grass out and left the most gorgeous stone pathways. July Was FULL. Ned turned 13. Chloe turned 1. I started Barefoot running. Went to Boston for a baby shower. Went to Santa Barbara on vaca with Cliff. Had the MOST magical time underwater ever in Catalina. Saw John Mayer with Aunt Mary. August We went to Vegas to celebrate my little sis turning 21! September Incredible experience with dolphins. October My APP came out! Cliff did a Tough Mudder in what felt like a zillion degree heat. November I ran a mile a day and it changed my life.