Currently. Cooking up some mung beans in the steamer + it's totally working. Yay! My usually very strong self is all kinds of mushy and tender today. I'm negotiating some serious breathing woes which have lead me to practicing some truth telling. The kind where I'm saying -- I'm not ok. But I hope I'll be ok.
There's a literal blockage in my trachea that I've tried to clear with everything from crystals to brute force. I've tried healers of all sorts and have made some very dear friends in the process. I've been affirming that I breathe with ease. I've been managing with food, meditation, quality time with Cliff and Ned. Oh and making major life changing decisions like selling everything and living in an RV. Simplify, simply has been the calling in our hearts for so many reasons and we've been answering like it's our job.
It's all consuming not to be able to breathe properly. My labored breathing has become like saying Voldemort in our family and I've hit that point where THIS is no longer working. I've tried not talking about it nearly all year. I've exhausted it really. It's not a secret, never has been I just didn't want to give it any power. Kind of like hiding under the covers so the boogie man can't see you. The truth is that method is not working and this sucks and it's hard. And so I'm leaning into the discomfort of it all. I'm allowing myself to grieve and feel deeply.
I am in touch with the fact that this isn't for nothing. That resonates so deeply. I know it's for something and I feel that most when I'm with my coaching clients. I love them so much. I love my work so much. We learn from experience and from wisdom. Somehow I feel this experience is allowing in more wisdom.
We are all carrying something. For some it's visible or audible like my breathing. For others it's hidden under the surface. No matter what you're carrying I want you to know it's ok to give yourself permission to take a minute and feel. Deeply. Tell the people who are close to you. Ask for what you need. Even if all you can ask for in the moment is someone to listen or just give you a hug.
I've made a doctors appt to get looked at and see just how closed/ open the airway is. I'll keep you posted in my updates here.
This RV adventure is part of our deep desire to live fully. The dream, the best case scenario is that I'll be able to take full, deep breaths. That I'll be able to run as fast and far as I want to. That I'll be able to jump and hike and twirl and sing 80's songs at the top of my lungs with Cliff as we drive down the road. That I'll be able to talk in complete sentences and never once have to stop and gasp for air. That I'll be able to give full on speeches anytime I feel like it.
Would you hold that vision for me and with me?
We picked up the RV from Johnny on Friday the 27th of June. I was giddy. I couldn't stop smiling or saying I LOVE OUR LIFE! THIS IS SO PRETTY! Kayla + Brian + Chloe were headed into town and our paths crossed literally on the freeway so we pulled over to show them our new home! I love this picture of us. It just says it all. At the end of the day I was exhausted from joy.
Chloe kept calling it our Big Bus. Cliff's big bus. Lacy's big bus. Ned's big bus.
We moved out of our rental house and into the RV from the 28 - 30th of June. We are now comfortably parked in a Resort RV Community (which makes me giggle). They're stretching it on the resort part but it is shiny and new with wifi and a pool. And bonus it's close to Cliff's work! Houston is a really big city and we wanted to be sure that what we're saving in monthly bills didn't get absorbed by a long commute. I'm officially working from the RV. Sitting at the kitchen table right now!
We put all our extra stuff into mom's garage and we've been going through deciding what stays and what goes. It's getting WAY easier to let go of things now that we are in the RV. There's a certain freedom in seeing the piles go and the space open up. I can feel it opening up inside of me too.
We're getting to know the RV which is really code for comedy of errors. We're continuing renovations and decorating. We still need to get an electrician out to fix the lights. We have two plugs that are working in the kitchen and one light in the hallway. The rest seem to be taking a break from their purpose in life.
Honestly, it feels good to sit still for a minute. We were hoping that a road trip to Boston at the end of this month for my dear friends wedding would be our maiden voyage but ole Barb (that's what we've been calling her. Barb. Short for Rhubarb.) just isn't ready for the open road. Barb is a pretty clear communicator.
That's Mema's hand in the corner there. She was on shelf paper duty! Hours upon hours were spent on making sure each drawer and cabinet were properly lined. A small fortune was spent on cork shelf paper.
I LOVE the new kitchen. L O V E I T. I was adamant about having the sink mounted under the counter. Cliff drove all over town to get the supplies needed and Johnny made it happen. I see it every day and I love it every day.
We're all learning how to live in a small space. Ned is doing pretty good though the door and the steps that fold out every time the door opens sends him running to the bedroom and under the covers. He hasn't gone outside yet and I can't blame him. It's a lot of concrete. I brought him to work from home with me over at my mom's yesterday and we spent some time in the yard together. I could just see his spirit getting fed. Sweet boy. I keep whispering to him that there is going to be lots of nature to explore very soon.
Ned turned 14 on July 1st so naturally I made a crown from cork shelf paper. ; ) I can think of about 1400 reasons why I love him. You know how some animals show up in your life and choose you. That's us. He chose me, I was present enough to get it and sappy enough to cave in and take him home. I'm so glad I did. He's a big piece of this RV adventure. Cliff and I were really craving simplicity and travel but we didn't want to leave Ned behind. It feels really important to keep our little family together.
Dad came over to see the RV and installed all the kitchen knobs, shower curtain rod and bedroom curtain rods. The man knows how to use a drill! I had some legit childhood flash backs as he was asking me to hand him this tool or that one.
I used to joke that the secret to a happy marriage was separate bathrooms. We've not shared a bathroom for our entire marriage and now we share about 300 sq feet of living space with one bathroom and a composting toilet. We're both still really happy that we got the composting toilet but we also take full advantage of using flushing toilets like it's a total treat (because it is super nice not to have to carry away your own #1 AND #2). There's a plastic jug in front (the one with the black handle on it) that holds the pee. We empty it every three days or so. The poop (and paper) goes into a bigger holding bin and will get emptied every 3 - 4 weeks. We add coconut coir for the composting bit.
Bathroom is coming together! Ombre shower curtain from Target. Rope handles from West Elm. Starfish pulls from Anthropologie. At some point we'll have a basin built under the sink.
What we lack in wall space we make up for in cabinet space. I've started hanging our favorite pictures in the cabinets. I set up our smoothie station first since we use it almost daily. Makes me happy every morning when I open this cabinet. The print is a free download on my site! You can get yours here.
Another daily ritual around here is tea. Morning tea. Evening tea. Rooibus for him. Mint for me. Of course all the stuff on the counters will be taken down and put into bins when we're on the road but as soon as we're parked it will get set up again. The pea + carrot print is one of my faves. The decoupage frame is one I made ages ago. 2008 I think. I had it hanging in my studio at the rent house. I looked at it one day as we were packing up and noticed it reads 'Take to the Highway' right there front and center under our smiling faces. FULL BODY CHILLS.
We're doing a reclaimed wood wall behind the bed. My friend, Jamie House hand picked each piece for us. Mom helped us lay it all out and Cliff started on it yesterday.
He will finish it up on his next days off this coming weekend. I can hardly wait to see it all done. I already love it so much.
The new curtains arrived! They're actually pin-tuck shower curtains from West Elm. We used conduit for the rod (hung from the ceiling) and tied the curtains on with leather cord so they won't make noise as we drive down the road. Mom made blackout curtains that velcro to the window so we can sleep in. We have our priorities. ; ) This is what it looks like right now, mid day, no lights on. Pretty awesome!
That's the update from RV land. Lacy