Conversations with the homeless.

Setting: Hawaii, in the pool.

Mom and I are leaning over the edge looking out at the turtle surfacing in the ocean when a man walks by.

He is clearly disheveled, homeless or prefers not to shower in some rebellion against hygiene.

Man: Making eye contact and staring far too long to be comfortable says
You have beautiful teeth.

Lacy: Thank you.

Mom: Half laughing
Well we did pay good money for those straight teeth.

Man: Walking off and looking over his shoulder (I'd swear he was slurring a bit)
I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I offended you.

Lacy: You didn't.

Man: With new confidence turns back around and says
Would you like to go to dinner with me?

Lacy: No.

Man: Looking very confused
Why not?

Lacy: Thinking about a million and one reasons why I would not like to go to dinner with this man instead I kindly reply with the obvious answer
I'm married.

Man: Leaving again and looking over his shoulder
I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I offended you.

Lacy:
S I L E N C E

Lady in the pool next to us:
You do have very nice teeth.

Mom: giggling

Moral of the story is...
Didn't you mom teach you not to talk to strangers? Maybe next time, don't.