Over the weekend we saw I'm Fine, Thanks. It went right down past the surface into that soft spot where experience lies. That little well in me that keeps tears on the ready for moments when I truly feel something. The documentary is about complacency, about living the American dream instead of your own dream. It's about getting lost along the way and realizing it. We easily could have been interviewed to be a part of the movie. On the car ride home we talked about how much change we've been through in the last 365 days. Writing that down I feel the magnitude of all those changes... well over 365 of them. I also feel the immeasurable lightness of coming out the other side, of doing the work and seeing it through. I remember that moment of awakening. The realization of THIS IS NOT WORKING. It hangs in my mind like a familiar smell, so readily accessible to take me back to that exact place in time. Thinking back on that day I feel my entire body respond--- I feel my chest tighten, my breath deepen and that feeling of OH SHIT this is going to hurt (but probably not more than it already does). It was a flood light onto the inevitability of our life... all the choices we'd made brought us to that moment in truth and we chose to fully own each and every one. We chose to forgive ourselves and each other in all the places that needing forgiving. We thanked our house for all the fun experiences we'd had there and then we started packing.
We lived that life that I'm Fine, Thanks touches on. I feel proud of our bravery to take the first step and then the second one. We did the American dream and now we're doing OUR DREAM, individually and together! Our life is authentic and happy. We made tough decisions to get here, we let go of living in fairy tale land and started living in the truth.
Everyday. I'm. grateful.
This morning the fridge was making this puttering sound and the freedom of being a renter came over me. It's simply not my problem if that fridge continues to live or die. That's one of the magnificent details of my happy new life.
The dictated path is not the way it has to be, life is available to be lived and experienced however you choose. So many people are miserable doing what they feel they must. There's an awakening happening, people are getting that they have a choice and I love that. You can BE HAPPY! At some point enough is enough and you'll be willing to do whatever it takes to change your life, even move to Texas ; ). You don't have to cry on your way to work each day, or wait to see how stress will manifest itself in your body, choose your beautiful life, choose happiness and remember that kids are so adaptable and they want to see mamma and daddy happy. You will be so glad you did!
Oh and see the movie!
To awakening! Lacy
p.s. doesn't @houstondesigner Jamie House have the best bun head ever! The girls a beauty, through and through!