Sometimes we just need permission to be right where we are.Sometimes we just need to cry. Sometimes it doesn't need fixing, because nothing is broken.
You feel me, right?
Last November I was in Boston balling my eyes out. I'd been to to doctor for a check up on my trachea and didn't like what he had to say. I was sitting there talking to my sister on the phone with stories running rampant in my head- with my heart broken- sobbing--- all the while listing off all the reasons why it was a perfectly great day and I was ever so thankful to be here and to be able to get it looked at and blah blah blah more positive shit that didn't matter in that moment. Kayla took a breath and lovingly said... "Lace, positive is good but honest is better. It's ok to just feel rotten. You don't have to make it better." And so I sat. And cried. And let my Boston tribe surround me. And let it feel rotten.
The next day I went back into the operating room for them to get a closer look. This time I wasn't afraid because I'd allowed myself to really feel the pain and confusion and uncertainty of the days before and the events leading to all the surgeries years ago. I felt it, released it and have been getting better ever since.
So if you're needing permission to just be honest, permission granted! From two sisters who have struggled well and seem to find the words that the other needs in the exact right moment.
With love, Lacy