At Shift Retreat in Bali, I gave everyone a day off and most of the group went to hike a volcano. I offered an optional 7 am meditation. My aunt, sister and dear friend Lizzy came - of all the people at the retreat the three who know me, love me and support me with wild abandon showed up this morning. I immediately knew that was no accident. We chatted for a bit and decided that we'd do a Dr. Joe Dispenza meditation on opening up the pineal gland so that I could meditate too instead of leading the meditation.
When we finished the meditation my aunt opened her eyes and looked at me crying and said, "You are healed, Lacy! You are healed!" Honestly the thought in my mind was a pacifying, "aren't you sweet for thinking so." Her experience was not matching mine. I could feel and hear myself breathing and I didn't feel healed BUT I did notice that I felt moved by her emotion and a space was opening up inside of me.
Through her tears she said, "You guys, I know we just meditated but we have to do it again." She had received what we call a "divine download" and she just KNEW with all her being that we needed to go back into meditation. We sat in a tight circle, their hands on me and breathed together. With Mary's prompt they breathed in the scar tissue, breathed it up and out to the angels to carry it away.
I cried so hard that I did the shaking silent cry. It took time for the sound to come and when it did I sobbed for all those years that had been so hard, so limited, so frustrating. I cried for every time I wanted to simply walk and talk, to run, and to play but physically couldn't. I cried and I received their love. For the first time in a long while I could hear something louder than my own breathing. I could hear three women intentionally working to pull scar tissue up and out of my body. I felt their breaths, their effort, their love and I began to believe not in a larger healing but in the truth of the moment.