I was talking to a potential client earlier this week and shared where the name lacylike came from. She said she knew it had to have a good story and that has lead me to telling it here! I started dating my high school sweetheart at 15. We married when I was 21. Grew up, grew apart and divorced amicably. I wrote about it on my first blog here. I took his last name and when we divorced went back to my maiden name.
Fast forward to the moment I wanted to change my email address. What do I do now? I didn't want to be lacy-not-my-last-name anymore. But I also didn't want to be lacy-maiden-name. I longed to be me PERIOD. All I had to do was remember who exactly I was. I had no idea where to begin but I was happy to have the time to figure out it and I was liking her more everyday.
I distinctly remember having a strong opinion about most things as a child. I was decisive, had a lot to say and happily used my voice. You know when you see posts on Facebook that say--- little girls should be told they have leadership skills not that they are bossy? I thumbs up those posts. Cliff says I have moxie. I blush and say thank you, I know.
Along the way though I was shhhhhhh-ed--- A LOT, told I was too loud, that I didn't have a filter, that I was too much etc. And so I retreated inward. I learned where it was safe to be me and I where it wasn't. I tested the limits all the time. I became a master at reading people and being what I thought they wanted me to be. I was pretty good at it too. By the time I was looking for lacylike I already had scar tissue growing in my trachea and was well into the trial and error of pharmaceuticals, surgeries and eating to numb the pain. Are you seeing the correlation? A little girl made to be quiet who later quiets herself with medically unexplainable mystery scar tissue growing in her throat chakra? Never doubt what truly powerful creators we are!
I'm reminded that every past experience shapes who we will become. I had no idea when I chose an email address that lacylike would usher me back home to myself. It has given me permission to continue to grow and change, to embrace + celebrate my individuality. It has whispered, "you're going to be ok sweet girl" and shouted "JUST BE YOURSELF DAMMIT!" It has given me the courage I needed to start a business, to explore unapologetic healing, to love again and to fall sincerely + deeply in love with myself.
A big ole part of this human experience is getting conscious and becoming ourselves. I invite you to find something that allows you to proclaim that you are like no one else and proud of it! Maybe it's a word, maybe it's sitting in quiet meditation so that you may feel the truth of who you really are. Whatever it is seek it out and put it to work in your life.
There's a great Marianne Williamson quote that reads "as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same." I couldn't agree more. Celebrating that you are like no one else but you and that I am like no one else but me, lacylike.
With love, Lacy
