The seasons are changing and with the lingering breezes of fall I feel myself retreating inward. I'm calling more awareness in around these feelings. I spent a long time on the phone with my sister this morning taking turns talking about what Dr. Wayne Dyer taught us, working through sadness, density, question marks and focusing on what's begging to be noticed today. I said, "sis, I'm so burnt out" and she replied, "that's great!" ...
I came to Bali because I felt powerfully and unexplainably drawn here. In the three weeks I've been here so far everything has changed, shifted, lightened. It feels like my whole life has been a series of events leading me to this experience. Deep meditation lead to healing work. I cried. A lot. A first in as long as I can remember. I called out from the depths of grief. I opened up my body and as a result I've never felt more free. More light. More alive. More open. Bali reminded me how important atmosphere is for me. The combination of natural beauty and daily offerings have helped bolster calm inside of me to allow for all the good work to happen. I needed to be so far away. I needed to wander the winding streets, sweat bucket loads, eat fruit, feel the buzz of the city and then sit near the ocean. I needed to be in a place of uncertainty. I needed every bit of it.
The big question marks that characterized my first few days in Bali have been replaced with a deep peace and calm. I read back in my journal and notice how confused I was... and now I just feel compassion for her and all the striving energy.
There have been monumental internal shifts. I used to have an apartment in my heart and my belly for overwhelm and anxiety. They've gone now and a tremendous weight has lifted. I used to worry about my trachea and now I truly feel that I can heal myself. I've believed that for a long time but now I FEEL the truth of it. I know now that to truly and fully heal you MUST be willing to feel and feel deeply, truthfully and consistently. Big shifts will happen if you trust that and practice it.
I'm seeing clearly that it's time to share all I've learned in Bali and the decade leading up to it. It's time to go deeper. It is going to be completely different from anything I've done before. The truth is that I love food and what it can do for us but the part of coaching that I am deeply moved by are those moments when we move beyond food and into what’s at the core. This is going to be all core.
It's life coaching but not really. It's health coaching but not really. It's business coaching but not really.
I'm inviting you to join me on a profound healing journey like nothing you've ever experienced. It will be powerful and unexplainable just like this trip for me. More information will be coming soon. Stay tuned!
With tremendous love, Lacy
p.s. If you've not yet subscribed to my blog posts you can do so here so that you don't miss a thing!
- Barefoot running is like an upper and I'm devoted to natural highs. - Green juice does it for me too. Big time.
- I meditate daily and still get caught up in worrying about the future. Must need more meditation or a crystal ball. Maybe both.
- A solid sense of humor gets me through an awful lot with a smidge of grace. My sisters remind me about the importance of laughter ALL THE TIME. For instance --- this week Kayla made juice and forgot to add the pitcher to catch the juice. When the juice started spraying out everywhere she went with plan B, her hands. And when plan B didn't exactly work it was plan C, hysterical laughter with her daughter.
- Even though I eat vegan most of the time, I still really like cheese. Especially a nice, hard gouda. If you read nice, hard gouda and had at least one dirty thought you might be my people.
- I want to explore contentment and collect experiences.
- I believe in letting what we do be an expression of who we are.
- I'm craving a GOOD DIY project. Something deeply satisfying that when I'm all done I can sit back and say I MADE THAT (picture little Lacy beaming with pride).
- Ned will be 14 this year. July 1. He seems to have just gotten the memo and has slowed down a bit. Spending our days together is still one of my favorite things. I don't even get annoyed when he wakes us up puking in the middle of the night on the pillow right next to my head. Welp, most of the time.
- Peppermint herbal tea is a gift.
- Feeling like I accomplished quite a lot this week. My desk is a complete disaster. That's usually a good sign. - Remembering spending time last week in Austin with my little sister and my niece Chloe. Missing those two. A lot.
- Spending a lot of time exploring that most unpredictable space called transition. Feeling change coming and having so many conversations with Cliff about what that might look like. Our lease is up in June and what we know for sure is we are complete in this house. We're ready for the next adventure!
- Looking forward to vacation. We're going sailing. Off the coast of Panama! San Blas islands. Google it. Freaking glorious!
- Packing T's + Tanks to send to customers! Thank you all so much for the support. I'm in awe of just how many hats I wear as a solo-preneur and it all counts, it all helps, it all adds up to helping me continue to live the dream of doing work I love. You can get yours here!
- Pinning my heart out today between client calls. Are you on Pinterest? Let's be friends!
- Considering a water fast later this year for my next "food" experiment. My intention is to literally wash my cells and get inflammation in my body DOWN as low as possible to see if it helps my breathing. It feels hard core. At the same time it also feels like a memory, like it's something I've already done yet I know I haven't. Does that make any sense at all? Don't worry it's one of those things where we would go to a place to be medically supervised.
Yeap, that about covers it.
Happy Friday! xo, Lacy
prepping for the start of Juice, Blend, Repeat on Monday (join us!) waiting for the motivation to strike to clean the piles off my desk
doors open enjoying the crisp air + sunshine
wearing my favorite, VERY worn Joe's jeans and my soul mate necklace (best Christmas gift ever, thanks mama) almost everyday
making piles in the garage in prep for an epic garage sale in spring (never can be too organized)
enjoying my little brother, appreciating that he's a talker
watching Love + Other Drugs on repeat while I work
loving conversations with my sister on everything
spending way more time in the kitchen lately
wearing fuzzy socks and drinking water from a used to be pickle jar
appreciating my new iPhone + it's awesome camera
It's a thoughtful and crisp (yay!) morning over here. Keeping an open mind, feeling into simple questions like what would feel really really supportive in this moment. The answer was a smoothie and this blog post! So, my smoothie is on the desk and here I am! Hello, good morning! Feeling deeply moved by words these past couple days sharing some of them below.
- This quote arrived in the bottom of an email forwarded from my little sis (she's often the warehouse where thoughtful words come from).
What Lies Behind Us and What Lies Before Us Are Small Matters Compared To Compared To What Lies Within Us!
I've heard it so many times before but it really stood out this morning. It keeps resonating YES over and over. What lies within us! YES!
- Playing this song on repeat. Love the lyrics. The snappy beat is fun too. Thank you, Monet!
Her eyes are light and clear And fearless like Chicago winds in the winter time And her hair is never quite in place And the knees in her jeans have seen better days And she's no beauty queen but you love her anyway She's a wildewoman
She's gonna find another way back home It's written in her blood, oh it's written in her bones Yeah, she's ripping out the pages in your book She's gonna find another way back home It's written in her blood, oh it's written in her bones Yeah, she'll only be bound by the things she chooses
Her smile is sneaky like a fiery fox It's that look that tells you she's up to no good at all And she'll say whatever's on her mind They're unspeakable things and she'll speak them in vain And you can't help but wish you had bolder things to say She's a wildewoman
She's gonna find another way back home It's written in her blood, oh it's written in her bones Yeah, she's ripping out the pages in your book She's gonna find another way back home It's written in her blood, oh it's written in her bones Yeah, she'll only be bound by the things she chooses Yeah, she will only be bound by the things she chooses
Oh we're gonna find another way back home It's written in our blood, oh it's written in our bones Yeah, we're ripping out the pages in your book Oh we're gonna find another way back home It's written in our blood, oh it's written in our bones Yeah, we'll only be bound by the things we choose Yeah, we'll only be bound by the things we choose
We will only be bound by the things we choose
- And this song is beautiful.
Saw Gravity this week and I can't stop thinking about it. It was powerful, stressful, beautiful. I'm in awe of truly gifted actors. Have this feeling after seeing it... a bit like life is moving in slow motion and that none of it really matters. Not in the depression or doom and gloom sort of way. In a bigger picture way... feeling that the stuff I worry about is really so very small and inconsequential. Do you know what I mean?
Seeing the people + things that matter circled in a glow. As if it's a big neon sign to remind me --- HEY THIS IS WHAT MATTERS, breathe into this! Love into this! Spend some time over here.
Wishing you a very happy Friday! Go spend some time on what matters to you. Lacy
1.) We recently saw The Butler. I cried. A lot. I couldn't make it stop. I can't believe the way we've hurt one another. I wonder if we will ever learn and stop it. I hope so. Movies like this feel so very important in helping to raise our level of consciousness. Please love each other. 2.) I cleaned out my studio closet and it's so beautiful that I've been working with the door open and light on for the past several days so I can look up from my desk and enjoy the organization. Few things make me happier than a well organized space. I'm headed to the master closet next.
3.) I love running. Straight. Up. Love. It. I continue to be gobsmacked (great word, right) of loving things that I never in a million years thought I'd enjoy.
4.) Voxer is amazing. So much more fun than texting and so much less intrusive too.
5.) Instagram continues to be the place on the internet where I feel most seen and genuinely loved. My friend Myna (who takes amazing insta photos btw) says she's "making friends out of thin air." I just love that, it feels so true for me too. Are you on insta? Come find me.
6.) Ned has taken to staring at this one particular section of the wall in my office. I'm afraid critters have decided to live in there. I think loud music + banging will come next. I mean it's the most polite + humane way to say "MOVE OUT, THIS IS NOT THE BEST PLACE FOR YOU TO LIVE" that I can think of.
7.) It feels like there's something really good brewing. Like all my work is about to payoff in the best of ways. I'm feeling brave lately and then the next day really hungover from all the vulnerability. Still, I wouldn't trade it. My deep desire continues to be the same, to stay tuned into my truth and live as authentically as humanly possible.
8.) Cliff woke me up this morning hugging me so tightly before he left for work. It's like he knew I needed to be loved extra today. I memorized that feeling.
9.) I am incredibly grateful for my family. That I can ride my bike to my mom's house. That I've seen my youngest sister twice in two weeks. That my Aunt Mary is my cruise guru (we are headed out to sea on family vaca soon). That we can meet Mema for quality conversation, beer + organic groceries at Whole Foods. That I get to see Kayla + Chloe this week. This move to Texas was the exact right thing for us to do.
10.) Two words keep showing up in my work and my life... simple + profound.
p.s. my very first e-course begins October 1st and I'd LOVE for you to join me! It's a 10-day sugar detox called Sweet Surrender with daily emails delivered to your email inbox. Find more info + register here. I AM IN LOVE with the logo... a jump roping cupcake! Isn't it the cutest!
FAQ - Can't start on the 1st but want to join? No problem, you can begin anytime you like. I suggest you save the emails in a folder or set up a filter so they are there for you when you're ready to begin.
Skype. Being there even when I'm not.Loving kindness. Avocados. Butter lettuce. Coconut. Kale. Human touch. Human connection. Faith that all I've been working to create is really happening. Seeing it all unfold before me. Anne. Anne + her recipe for burning out my post vacation sore throat. Ginger, turmeric, black pepper, honey + hot water. Meditation. Remembering what's already happened even though it hasn't happened yet. Couch talks. New Campaign For Confidence submissions and the stories behind them. Airplanes. Helicopters. Water. Sunshine. Swimming pools. Air conditioning. A well placed shit, fuck or dammit. Ned. Always Ned. Even though he's been a little extra needy since we got back from Cali. Receiving love. Giving love. Being love. Emails. Texts. Tweets. Post cards. Stamps. Ouchless pony tail holders. Yoga pants. Spilts 59 Tank Tops. Bare feet. My daily uniform. Moleskin Journals. Another one nearly filled up with words, observations, big dreams, plans, reminders, doodles +++. Today. This moment. Right now.
What are you grateful for at the moment? xo, Lacy
p.s. I'm over at Kelly Rae's blog today for her Hip Hip Hooray Giveaway! Come say hello + enter to win free goodies!
I've gotten in the habit of riding my bike to mom's + the gym. It is one of my favorite hand-me-overs ever! Thanks, sis!
Saturday morning we started the day with vegan pancakes. Totally worth it.
Saturday night got a text from my gf that her sparkly eye liner + Kale Yeah! sticker came in handy at a wedding. Each time I get a photo or message or email of a Kale Yeah! sticker in the world you'd think I won the lottery! It's that good! We were watching Lincoln (great movie) at the time. Had to stop the movie to dance + high five that another Kale Yeah! sticker got stuck in the world.
It's Sunday and I've been busy about the leisure of this day. I love Sunday. I love the energy of the world on Sunday. It really feels like Sunday. You know what I mean?
Saturday pm listen to guided meditation then to bed. Wake up slow. Meditate again. Breakfast made from the garden. FROM.THE.GARDEN! Completely tickled that Cliff thought to take a photo of the skillet before cooking everything up. Grocery shopping. Went to three different places to get the best deals. Makes me happy. I come by it honestly. Quality girl friend chat time. Soul elixir. Swimming laps. I am getting so involuntarily tan from swimming everyday. I catch myself in the mirror and I'm like WOAH SO TAN! My usually porcelain skin is a little dry but otherwise happy and feeling really healthy. Thank you vitamin D! Cliff pointed out today that we spend big bucks on filters to get the chlorine out of our water at home both for drinking and showering yet we hop into the chlorine filled pool each day. Good point, well made. I will still be swimming tomorrow. It's all in the balance I suppose. Cooking/preparing food for the week... Cucumber salad--- oh how I love dill! Fried rice + ginger sauce (added a heaping tbsp of ghee to the fried rice this time--- awww the good fat). Juiced the Melted Popsicle. Seriously considered going to the local snow cone place for a cup of ice to pour the Melted Popsicle over! Maybe next time! Next up something with chickpeas b/c I can't seem to get enough of them lately. And maybe a pasta salad too. Cliff picked a teensy tiny orange bell pepper today (about the size of a plum) that wants to be made useful.
Off to the kitchen!
Wishing you a month of Sundays! Lacy